This is actually a huge issue for me in terms of the kinds of men I attract/am attracted to. I often attract “conscious”/”feminist” Black men who have said things to me like “you’re so different” or “you’re not like those OTHER (ratchet, uneducated, unclassy, unintelligent) Black women” and it blows my mind that they think denigrating other Black women is the way to my heart (or any other part of me).

Women are not deserving of human treatment if and only if they live up to your standards of intelligence, femininity, class, etc. Women are deserving of human treatment 100% of the time because women are human 100% of the time. And that goes for all women—that means strippers and video girls and single mothers and sex workers and drug addicts. That means women with weaves and relaxers. That means queer women, even if they will never be your wife or your girlfriend or even your friend. That means trans women. ALL WOMEN DESERVE HUMAN TREATMENT.